devonnicolee:

baby birdies

devonnicolee:

baby birdies

"When I realize I am small for the
first time,
I’m sitting on the floor in my
best friend’s bedroom.
I’m talking about how I can’t
seem to stop feeling like a liar
when a a boy on Tinder says he
wants to fuck me and then I’m
crying.

And then I’m crying and laughing
and apologizing because I’m crying,
and it won’t stop for anything,
and I swear I’ve never hurt with
such an emptiness before in my life.

I realize I am small and then
everything is too close, and then
I realize I’ve never been touched
on purpose, and then I realize
how empty twenty years old can
be
and how the fuck can someone go
twenty years without being touched?
Without being loved like that?

Here. For this,
I won’t write in the abstract.
This happened. This happens.
The nothingness starts getting
louder and then, when it finds
its name, there’s no ignoring it.
I am small and I don’t want to be.

I am good and kind
and funny. I can make you
laugh and you’ll never have to
remember me.
Thank you. Yes, please.
I understand. Bye. It was nice
meeting you. It’s okay.
For the third time, my name is
Caitlyn. You don’t have to spell
it right. No one ever does.

Where is the sky? Where is the string?
Where is the hand that burns?
Where is the mouth that stays?

I am not being looked for.
That’s the long and short of it.

In a parallel universe, someone hates
me.
In a parallel universe, I have been
reckless and brave and ridiculous
and ugly.
Don’t make me prove it. I’m tired
just thinking about it.

Someone hug me. Someone
punch me in the face.
Grab my neck and mean it.
Someone pull it out of me.
Someone stand me up straight
and make me work for it.
Rip my heart out through my back
then hold it between your teeth.
I’ll be so thankful.
I’ll be so fucking thankful."

Caitlyn Siehl, Small (via alonesomes)

DollarTree love!

"

Sit down, dear, we gotta talk, you’re acting like a kid
We don’t wanna hear about the things you never did
You could have been a legend, but you became a father
That’s what you are today, that’s what you are today
Spending all your time somewhere inside your head
Haunted by the important life you could have lead
But your kisses aren’t enough to keep your kids in line
So you better straighten out yourself and give your baby time
‘Cause if you don’t give her what she needs
She’ll get it where she can ‘cause she’s lonely, man
Don’t don’t leave yourself alone for too many days
Sooner than you know you’re gonna start slipping

You’ll end up talking to the ghost of your wife as if you knew her
Your eyes will put her everywhere
And spending all your time somewhere inside your head
Haunted by the important life you could’ve lead
You’ll fuck yourself to clear your head
You’ll close your door and go to bed
You’ll try to sleep without a dream
That’s where she finds you
That’s where she finds you
Don’t leave yourself alone for too many days
Sooner than you know you’re gonna start slipping

Dear we better get a drink in you before you start to bore us
Dear we better get a drink in you before you start to bore us
Dear we better get a drink in you before you start to bore us

The National
Slipping Husband

"
:)

:)

feeling grateful about MY bird in the hand!

Okay while I am not so naive as to believe Honeymaid (it’s big umbrella behemoth parent) wasn’t going after the very lucrative, non-traditional relationship market out there… I STILL really like the feel goodery of their commercial.

I’ve read a sad, sad crapload about abused children, some surviving and some dying, this week.  And ALL at the hands of very sick, traditionally coupled couples. 

If there is a healthy couple out there who wants to parent children effectively I don’t care how they have chosen to couple. And if some people want to hate them for it they don’t deserve a cookie anyway!

Watch Honey Maid’s awesome answer about the backlash they received 

(Source: sizvideos)

Messing around with a disembodied hand, a brother label maker machine, “not top-shelf” whiskey and some kick-ass inspiration from my new fave book! The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life by Robert Goolrick

Messing around with a disembodied hand, a brother label maker machine, “not top-shelf” whiskey and some kick-ass inspiration from my new fave book! The End of the World as We Know It: Scenes from a Life by Robert Goolrick